I am currently dealing with a parenting dilemma that has probably been around as long as Mom's have been popping out kids.
How do you get them to do anything?
I have 3 kids. One is pretty eager to help but seems to be ultra easily distracted and at times gets that sour look on her face when I ask a little more. I have one that likes to help but somehow seems to always end up in a chair with a Nintendo DS attached firmly to his grip. Then there is my 3rd--she will use more energy to not do anything then to just do what is asked. Ask her to clean up...she will hide all the clothes under her covers and cheerfully tell me she is done. UGHHH!
What is a Mom to do?
No, seriously, I am asking you what is a Mom to do?
How do you get your kids to be productive members of your household. We tried the allowance, earning extra money for more contribution, loosing priveledges for not doing the chores, chore charts and lists, screaming, yelling, and tantrums (at the age of 38- I can still throw a mean tantrum).
Now I am thinking we will once again head back to the weekly chore chart and pray it works. The hardest part for me is to be firm with the consequences. Sometimes it is just easier to let them play and do it myself! I hate to let them think life is always fun--we all have jobs to do.
I told one child today that chores are like jobs. What will she do when she grows up and has a job. She cheerfully informed me that you don't "have" to get a job...GREAT!
Maybe I need to change my focus and get the dog to start helping me out. He craves my approval more then all 3 of my kids combined!
No this is not my dog, I wish it was we would already be half way home to getting this house on the road to spic and span!
No, seriously, I am asking you what is a Mom to do?
How do you get your kids to be productive members of your household. We tried the allowance, earning extra money for more contribution, loosing priveledges for not doing the chores, chore charts and lists, screaming, yelling, and tantrums (at the age of 38- I can still throw a mean tantrum).
Now I am thinking we will once again head back to the weekly chore chart and pray it works. The hardest part for me is to be firm with the consequences. Sometimes it is just easier to let them play and do it myself! I hate to let them think life is always fun--we all have jobs to do.
I told one child today that chores are like jobs. What will she do when she grows up and has a job. She cheerfully informed me that you don't "have" to get a job...GREAT!
Maybe I need to change my focus and get the dog to start helping me out. He craves my approval more then all 3 of my kids combined!
No this is not my dog, I wish it was we would already be half way home to getting this house on the road to spic and span!
6 comments:
I think all you can do is be consistent (soooo hard, I know - I live it too!), stay on them and maybe find out what makes them tick. If your son loves the DS, say, "You need to do X, Y and Z for your chores today. Each chore will earn you one hour of DS time." That's how we rein in Buddy - and we still have struggles, so I think it's just normal, but try to have boundaries and hopefully, one day, all this hassle will pay off!!!
I love Evil Twins advise.. as you know, I am still trying to figure that one out too...
He may be 60, but it is time he learns to put the dishes in the dishwasher!
Tamis! You can't keep doing their work for them or they're never going to learn. Here's what my mom did that was very effective with me. Do they have a TV in their room? Take it away. Make them earn it back. Take away the DS. Cell phone? Take that away too. Take away anything that they enjoy and let them earn it back. Whatever you do, stand your ground and be firm. Don't budge. You can do it girl! :)
You know, my kids were pretty useless around the house growing up and I figured they would either be full time students or marry rich. They did neither, but they both have the best work ethics as adults I have ever seen. Neither misses work and they give 8 hours of hard work for 8 hours of pay.
I asked them once, how on earth did this happen. Both said they had watched their dad and I work from can to can't for them and a living and they knew that's what it took to get ahead. Just when you think they're not listening...they are watching!
I did make sure that if they ended up being hermits, they could cook, do laundry and iron....at least they wouldn't be hungry AND dirty!
The hardest part is when you say it, be ready to back it up! Never bluff...they can smell fear!
Debbie
yeah, I feel your pain!! I have 4 and it is like heck getting stuff done. It really irritates me, and sometimes I think they PLAN to get me flustered enough that I will just do it myself. I did find a couple tricks....with laundry, if they dont pick it up off the floor- it gets put on their bed, with dishes, if they dont all get washed, they get to do them again. with everything, there is a limit...just be sure you stick to your guns and follow through...and dont punish yourself when you are teaching them a lesson.:) been there done that.
This is the hardest part of parenting - at least it was for me!
I hated being mean person all the time - but after 10 or 15 years, for the most part, I okay with it now.
:-)
Good luck - let me know what works and I'll try it my still 3 "at-homes"
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