Tuesday, October 6, 2009

these tennis shoes taste terrible

How many times have we said something and then wished we had the capability to travel back in time 45 seconds and resist the urge to spew such stupid words from our mouths. Face it, it happens to all of us. Like the time the first time I kissed a boy and felt the urge to say "I love you" even though I probably only liked him, a lot.  Like the time someone asks you if something makes them look fat. They asked the question, they already know the answer or they would not ask. Don't take the bait, stay out of it.

I work as a travel nurse. Always in a different place. Never time to click with the other staff because I live in my car like an out of work dot.com worker. Yesterday, I worked somewhere I have not worked in about 5 months. Staff has rolled over, as it often does in my line of work.

As I was sitting at my desk for a moment trying to catch up on my charts I got drug into a conversation. A conversation I wish I had stayed out of it, because it resulted in eating my tennis shoes.

Nurse 1: I am feeling really hot. All of a sudden I have a headache too.

Nurse 2: Maybe, you are pregnant.

Nurse 1: Hmm, I could be. It is possible that I might be pregnant.

Myself: (totally felt compelled to interact here) Really, do you think you are pregnant? How exciting. (trying to be upbeat for Nurse 1)


Myself: What, why is that funny?

Nurse 1: because I am 9 months pregnant.

Myself: melting into my chair and probably 5 shades of red darker. Praying that somebody will need CPR right now so I could escape.

What do you say in that situation?

"Oooops, my bad. I just thought you were fat."

Laughing and saying nothing was about all I could think to do.

There is no way to recover from that one, is there? Wish me luck, because tomorrow I have to go back there and pretend none of it ever happened. I will know God still loves me if she goes into labor tonight.

It's not like she did anything anyways, she is 9 months pregnant. That totally explains why she sat around answering the phone all day.

P.S. I totally could not have gotten away with the "golly gee, no way I would have never guessed, you just don't look it".


Meeko Fabulous said...

This is freakin' hysterical! I giggled SO loud I got stares! :)

trash talk said...

That's when you look her right in the eye and with a straight face say, "Girl, get outta town! You sure don't look it. You must be carrying that baby high!". Deny, deny, deny!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I agree with Trash Talk! "You've got to be kidding me? How far along are you? I totally couldn't tell!" Hee hee.

At least mistaking someone for NOT being pregnant is better than mistaking them for being pregnant when they are not. It has taken me many years to learn the lesson "Unless I see a baby hanging between her legs, I am NOT to ask if she is pregnant." Yep, it's happened to me more than once.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Oh, and to answer your question, yes, that is a medium size Fiesta disc pitcher on my counter holding utensils. :-)Dust yours off and copy away!

Scrappy Doo said...

O Snap!!!
Sorry, but that was funny
Don't worry about it's not like you have to go to work and see them in the mornin

Amber Rose said...

I agree with Evil Twin's Wife..at least she was preggo! Not the.."oh when are you due?" I just love it when OTHER people stick their foot in their mouth..it makes me feel so much better about myself:)

The Good Cook said...

Ha ha ha... this is a great post. I mean, who among us hasn't stuck their foot in their very own mouth??

Good Luck today. Even if she didn't have that baby last night, God (and us) still love you!!!

kanishk said...

You must be carrying that baby high!". Deny, deny, deny!

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Pat said...

Oops! Too bad us humans don't have a rewind button! I can understand your mistake. Oh well...Maybe you won't have to face her too much in the future.

Pat said...

Hey - stop by my blog - I have an award for you!

Eva Gallant said...

Ohhh...I so know where you are coming from! I've opened my mouth and inserted my foot on several occasions!!

kanishk said...

This is freakin' hysterical!
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