Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A wrinkle in time

I am not sure at what point I have to quit saying I am in my "mid-thirties" and have to switch to "late-thirties". Well, actually I am sure, it is probably sometime after I was 37 1/2 but I am in denial. Late-Thirties...holy hell on a cracker! That is so bloody old I feel the need to fold a tissue shove it up my sleeve, dye my hair a nice shade of blue, turn my blinker on and drive 10 below the speed limit! When did this happen? When did I become the woman I am? Somehow along the way I collected a husband, family, herd of living creatures, and a mortgage. At one point in my life I moved 12 times in about 4 years. Now the thought of moving residences is enough to make me lie in the fetal position and quiver violently.

I love my life and what it has become - I am just not completely sure how I got where I now am? It was subtle and I am afraid I may have forgotten some of the pivotal moments along the way. I have fallen into the trap of looking so far ahead that I miss enjoying where I am. Bringing home our first baby and feeling like the luckiest person in the world. The exhausted days when we had 2 newborn premature babies at one time. Babies learning to walk. A 2 year old with a broken arm at the same time we had those newborn twins. The stroller that was so long, I called it a "limo". Remembering that some days Mom cried more then the babies. I am blessed! Our family has been healthy, our love has been strong, our families have been supportive, we have been blessed! Thanks to those that have contributed.

Remember her...

I hesitate sharing this but am counting on one of two things
  • you also lived in this era and appreciate what it takes to have your bangs in a different air space then your body
  • you are too young to appreciate this - but I know that one day you will have a similar photo of yourself that makes you say "dear lord, why did I think that was a good idea?"
I sure spend a lot less on hairspray then I did in 1989! One bottle last me months now. Yes that is a Aiwa mini-boom box in the window, it probably had a George Michael mix tape in it. Admit it, your jealous!

This is me now, almost exactly 20 years later, taken last night by a 7 year old that stumbled across the camera and took a lot of pictures. This may be in fact the best one she took. Not because I look beautiful or flawless, but because the others are of the ceiling, the blinds, a failed self portrait and a top view of an oblivious dog! I will use this one for my now picture because she caught the Mom in me.

Older, rounder, less concerned about my make-up and hair and more concerned that teeth are brushed, lunches made, a chapter is read of the book we are reading and that hugs and kisses are passed out. I think I am ok with who I have become.

You should be happy with the person you have become too! It takes a long time to get there, just don't miss the scenery along the way. Someday you will wish you could snuggle those babies one more time, touch your toes again, hug your Mother, laugh with your Dad, tell your sister that you love her. Someday it will be to late.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

*and to any of my senior citizen type readers that think I am off my rocker to consider 30-something old. Just think back to your forever age. That age in your head that you always see yourself as. Is it the same age you are today? I bet you wonder how you got where you are too!

1 comment:

JAN' PLACE said...

Bravo.. well said!!!