It's not too late.
I still can be a great Mom.
I still can do all those things I have given up on.
For so long I have been living like I already failed. Ridiculous, I now realize. How much time do you waste when you give up before the race even has started.
I have been dealing with guilt. Feeling like I am not as great of Mom as all these over the top Moms you read about in blogland. Fresh cookies, home made crafts, fancy bedrooms, lot's of activities--June Cleaver stuff. Some days I am tired. It affects my parenting and how attentive I am. Maybe if I own that and accept that I will be a better Mom that way. Besides, I think a lot of these Super Moms are not nearly as perfect as they appear!
I asked all three kids last night what I could do to be a better Mom. They all said "why do you say that, we think you are a great Mom". Maybe my standard is higher then theirs?
When I pushed my son a little more saying, "well, you know sometimes I yell and get upset". His response was, "well, sometimes we do stuff we aren't supposed to". OK, I feel better now.
Thanks for listening to my rambling, I did not cry!